Friday, June 27, 2008

The Cocksman shall use his Cockvision appropriately

Much like a Pro Bowl Running Back, a Cocksman uses his field vision to make the most of every situation. When walking down the street, The Cocksman keeps his eyes peeled waiting for signals for holders of vaginas indicating their interest. Potential signs include slight touches, extensive eye contact or laughing at bad jokes. When The Cocksman uses his Cockvision and picks up these signs, he makes the most of the opportunities presented to him.

On top of making the most of every situation wherever he is at, The Cocksman does his best to immerse himself in areas where there will be maximum acceptable vaginas. Again, referring to the running back simile, it's like following his blockers to ensure he makes it to the end zone. This means that, instead of hanging out in the free weight area of the gym , The Cocksman would head to the beach or college campus to maximize potential intercoursal relations. Cockvision is obviously much more valuable when there are more vaginal prospects about.

Example A: Brad kept pestering Randy to go down to the arcade for a Street Fighter II Tournament. Reluctantly, Randy went along even though he knew that the only chance he had of hooking up there was with that one Asian chick whose brother who lives on the DDR machine. On the way over, Randy noticed a group of girls heading to the school dance. He pleaded with Brad to skip the arcade and go with them, but Brad really wanted to show Mark and some of the guys that he could beat anyone with Ryu. After a quick victory over Blanca, Brad was entranced and couldn't be disturbed. Once Randy realized this, he snuck out the side door and bailed to the school dance where he ended up fingering one of the cheerleaders that Brad had been wanting to hook up with. Cocksmanship takes work, and it looks like the effort Randy put in is paying dividends.

Example B: Jimmy and Sheen were hanging out playing with Sheen collection of UltraLords when Cindy and Libby showed. Cindy put her hand on top of Jimmy's and made some comments about how she wanted to show Jimmy how she used a "special new invention I found in my mom's top drawer." Unfortunately, Jimmy was too focused on Sheen's newest action figure and failed to recognize these not so subtle signs. Jimmy's Cockvision is clearly not 20/20.

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