Saturday, June 14, 2008

The Cocksman Shall Always Be Prepared

A Cocksman realizes that holders of vaginas appear at all different times and it's not always possible to know when one is looking to fill said vagina. It is for this reason that the Cocksman is always ready for an encounter with a desirable holder of a vagina. Nothing frustrates The Cocksman more than destroying the possible chance for intercourse with a prospect purely as a result of unpreparedness.

Preparation, in this rule, is in reference to acting, dressing and embodying what it is to be a Cocksman at all times. Essentially, The Cocksman practices good Cocksmanship everywhere he goes. It doesn't matter whether he's hungover, on his way to the gym or heading to a club, The Cocksman is ready. In addition to the possible vaginal opportunities, The Cocksman recognizes that he represents all his fellow Cocksmen when he enters a public arena and, by defining himself as a Cocksman, he has inherently promised to properly represent them everywhere he goes.

Example A: Following a light night hookup with Jan at the local Chili's, Michael headed back to his condo. He knew he had to meet with his realtor, Carol, the following morning at 9 am to sign some mortgage documents. Although he had been out late with Jan and was understandably worn out, Michael set his alarm for 7:30 am, woke up, showered, trimmed his pubes, put on his fun jeans, a tight t-shirt and sprayed a bit of Nightswept onto himself. Not surprisingly, the paper signing turned into getting a coffee, which, a couple of hours later, led to a "nooner." Practicing good Cocksmanship has its benefits.

Example B: Frank had noticed that he was catching eyes from both Jenna and Liz, but had yet to make a move on either in hopes he could bag both. Following the Friday TGS show, Frank found himself staying late to work on Tracy's pornographic video game when Jenna knocked on the door. Although he was tired, it was clear Jenna was ready for action and he wasn't going to disappoint her. Following the intercourse, they both headed to their separate homes. The next morning, Frank awoke, put on his "Extra Cheese" hat and drug himself to the local diner for some eggs and coffee. Surprisingly enough, he ran into Liz, who, when she saw him from a distance, began doing her sexy walk in hopes of seducing him. However, when she got closer, she saw that Frank was unshaven, unshowered and she swore she could smell Jenna's unfresh vagina all over his moustache. Immediately, she made up an excuse about having to meet a friend at the movies and swore to herself she'd never touch Frank's penis. Frank, you're a disgrace to Cocksmen everywhere.

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