The Cocksman doesn't revert to disgraceful tactics, such as falsely promising the holder of the vagina he wants to date her or purposely getting her hammered in hopes he'll be able to take advantage of her. The Cocksman's method should be so excellent that it's unnecessary for him to make untrue promises or use drugs to impair the holder of the vagina's judgment. If the alleged Cocksman's game is not good enough, by itself, to convince the holder of the vagina to grant The Cock entrance, then the alleged Cocksman should work on self-improvement rather than focusing on dishonorable misdirection tactics. The true Cocksman would rather go without intercourse than revert to such antics.
In the same vein, The Cocksman won't purchase the holder of the vagina items with the expectation that she will repay him with mouth to Cock insertion or any other sort of sexual activity. The Cocksman doesn't expect or treat every vagina as if it's available for the right price. This isn't to say that The Cocksman never acquires anything for a holder of the vagina. If The Cocksman genuinely likes the holder of the vagina and simply wants to get her a drink, that is acceptable, but the intention must be analyzed. If the reason he buys her a drink is so that the holder of the vagina will owe him something in return, his Cocksmanship status must be revoked.
Example A: Joey and Rachel went out for a friendly dinner. Even before the drinks arrived, Joey was in the zone. Rachel began giving various indicators of interest, including laughing at all of his jokes and repeatedly touching him. Joey was having such a great time with her, he decided to pick up the check, with no expectations about any later action. To show her appreciation, Rachel slid under the table, unzipped Joey's pants and orally satisfied him in a way previously unknown. Being a Cocksman really does pay off!
Example B: Jefferson, unsatisfied with Marcy, decided to make a move on Kelly. In his first attempt at seducing her, he bought her a bottle of Boone's. When he brought it over, Kelly was ecstatic. They quickly guzzled it down while chatting, seated in the back of Al's Dodge. When Jefferson began moving his leg up Kelly's thigh, she pulled back and rejected him. Jefferson, upset, insisted that she needed to pleasure him if she expected to ever get him to buy it for her again. When this didn't work, Jefferson began forcing more wine into her, in hopes she would become so obliterated that she'd admit his Cock entry into one of her several holes. Your poor Cocksmanship disgusts me, Mr. Darcy. It's no wonder you ended up with Marcy.
Tuesday, April 29, 2008
Sunday, April 27, 2008
The Cocksman shall recognize the worth of The Cock
The Cocksman needs to understand that while vagina is fun, The Cock is number one. The Cocksman need not, and will not, chase after vagina as though somewhere within that sweetly scented compartment lies the secret to enlightenment. The Cocksman understands that The Cock is the true prize and should be treated accordingly. Now, some of you may be confused, so let me clarify. I certainly don't mean that The Cocksman is actually a homosexual who is after The Cocks of others. I just mean that The Cocksman is aware of the fact that the holder of the vagina is getting just as much, probably more, out of the envisioned intercoursal relationship. The Cocksman must pursue the vagina, to a degree, but there is a fine line between showing he is intrigued with the possibility and appearing desperate, a line which The Cocksman should never even approach, for toeing that line is certain to, eventually, put him into uncocksmanlike territory.
The method that should be taken is one that informs the holder of the vagina, usually in a subtle manner, that The Cocksman is interested in forming a union between The Cock and the vagina, and, if the holder of the vagina is agreeable to this proposition, she will show interest in a way that encourages The Cocksman to advance the relationship. When signs are given by the holder of the vagina, The Cocksman, if he desires, should artfully progress the relationship to the next level. While there are some slight variations on this for different situations, it is the general rule.
The prohibited method of pursuing the vagina has two main variations, The Puppy Dog and The Caveman, both equally shameful. The Puppy Dog method is one where a non-Cocksman finds a holder of the vagina and, through both body language as well as spoken language, shows her, and all observers, that he's willing to do anything, including sacrificing his manhood, to be with her. The Puppy Dog obeys the holder of the vagina's every command and paints himself as desperate and pathetic and is almost never successful. The Caveman has some similarity, in that The Caveman refuses to leave the holder of the vagina alone, but The Caveman doesn't conceal his intentions at all. No matter what the signals the holder of the vagina gives out, The Caveman presses forward with unwanted touching, uncomfortable conversation and forward crotch pressing in hopes of chipping away at the resistance of the holder of the vagina. The Caveman is sometimes successful with girls with extremely low self esteem, but is seen by his peers as desperate and creepy. Both of these approaches are something no respecting Cocksman would be willing to make, even if they worked one hundred percent of the time, for they are both disgraceful and deplorable.
Example A: While at a school dance, Farmer Ted notices Samantha Baker sitting on the bleachers, alone, and informs his friends that he is going to make an approach. After repeated rejections, including one where Sam simply walks away while he dances around her, Farmer Ted refuses to take a hint. When Sam steals away some time to think about some family issues in the school's auto shop, Farmer Ted, unable to understand social norms, follows her. Once he wears her down enough to the point where she's willing to have a conversation with him, he ups the ante, and, without any sort of warmup, proceeds to climb on top of her. Not surprisingly, she turns him down, visibly disgusted. Farmer Ted's failure to follow any sort of Cocksman-endorsed system ensures excessive masturbation and the preservation of his virginity.
Example B: Towards the end of their senior year, Blane notices Andie and, after a relaxed chat at the record store she works at, he decides to let her know he's interested. Andie eagerly accepts Blane's proposal to hang out, which Blane recognizes is the natural order of things in that she should be the one aggressively pursuing a relationship with him, not the other way around. Just to make sure she knows who the prime selection is, Blane shows up ridiculously late to their first date. Fearing that he's not all that into her, Andie tears into The Cock like a piece of freshly cooked filet mignon while Blane lays back and lets nature take its course. There's a reason Blane ends up with a hot mouth wrapped around The Cock while Duckie cries himself to sleep that night: Blane's a Cocksman.
The method that should be taken is one that informs the holder of the vagina, usually in a subtle manner, that The Cocksman is interested in forming a union between The Cock and the vagina, and, if the holder of the vagina is agreeable to this proposition, she will show interest in a way that encourages The Cocksman to advance the relationship. When signs are given by the holder of the vagina, The Cocksman, if he desires, should artfully progress the relationship to the next level. While there are some slight variations on this for different situations, it is the general rule.
The prohibited method of pursuing the vagina has two main variations, The Puppy Dog and The Caveman, both equally shameful. The Puppy Dog method is one where a non-Cocksman finds a holder of the vagina and, through both body language as well as spoken language, shows her, and all observers, that he's willing to do anything, including sacrificing his manhood, to be with her. The Puppy Dog obeys the holder of the vagina's every command and paints himself as desperate and pathetic and is almost never successful. The Caveman has some similarity, in that The Caveman refuses to leave the holder of the vagina alone, but The Caveman doesn't conceal his intentions at all. No matter what the signals the holder of the vagina gives out, The Caveman presses forward with unwanted touching, uncomfortable conversation and forward crotch pressing in hopes of chipping away at the resistance of the holder of the vagina. The Caveman is sometimes successful with girls with extremely low self esteem, but is seen by his peers as desperate and creepy. Both of these approaches are something no respecting Cocksman would be willing to make, even if they worked one hundred percent of the time, for they are both disgraceful and deplorable.
Example A: While at a school dance, Farmer Ted notices Samantha Baker sitting on the bleachers, alone, and informs his friends that he is going to make an approach. After repeated rejections, including one where Sam simply walks away while he dances around her, Farmer Ted refuses to take a hint. When Sam steals away some time to think about some family issues in the school's auto shop, Farmer Ted, unable to understand social norms, follows her. Once he wears her down enough to the point where she's willing to have a conversation with him, he ups the ante, and, without any sort of warmup, proceeds to climb on top of her. Not surprisingly, she turns him down, visibly disgusted. Farmer Ted's failure to follow any sort of Cocksman-endorsed system ensures excessive masturbation and the preservation of his virginity.
Example B: Towards the end of their senior year, Blane notices Andie and, after a relaxed chat at the record store she works at, he decides to let her know he's interested. Andie eagerly accepts Blane's proposal to hang out, which Blane recognizes is the natural order of things in that she should be the one aggressively pursuing a relationship with him, not the other way around. Just to make sure she knows who the prime selection is, Blane shows up ridiculously late to their first date. Fearing that he's not all that into her, Andie tears into The Cock like a piece of freshly cooked filet mignon while Blane lays back and lets nature take its course. There's a reason Blane ends up with a hot mouth wrapped around The Cock while Duckie cries himself to sleep that night: Blane's a Cocksman.
Sunday, March 9, 2008
The Cocksman Shall Know The Cock
This happens to be one of the few rules of Cocksmanship that the author of this blog can confidently claim to abide by. Simply put, The Cocksman must maintain an intimate relationship with The Cock, which, at times, requires that The Cocksman focus all of his attention on The Cock. Understandably, when a holder of the vagina is present, The Cocksman may be distracted and should refrain from fully concentrating on The Cock. However, at least three times a week, The Cocksman should turn off his cellular device, let The Cock out into the world and put maximum effort into fully pleasing The Cock.
When engaging in Cock-Cocksman bonding, The Cocksman should avoid viewing pornography. When The Cocksman becomes absorbed in watching erotica, his focus is on the computer, not The Cock, which leaves both The Cock and The Cocksman wanting more from their relationship with each other. Admittedly, there are times of self-stimulation where a person may simply want to achieve orgasm and move on with the day, which is still encouraged, but that is not what this rule is concerned with. The Cocksman should recognize that it isn't necessary to even fantasize when embracing The Cock. The Cocksman may simply caress The Cock while attempting to leave his mind blank or stare in the mirror. The point is that the focus of The Cocksman needs to be on The Cock in order to maintain a balanced and pleasurable relationship.
Example A: Raymond awoke to find himself alone, as Debra had taken Michael and Geoffery to to their soccer game. Uninterested in removing himself from the bed, Raymond laid back, fondled The Cock while focusing on the ceiling until he was satisfied. Raymond congratulated himself on his maintaining a cherished connection with The Cock. Pat yourself on the back, Raymond, you've practiced good Cocksmanship!
Example B: Will began relaying the story of a particularly satisfying mastubatory session with Carlton. Rather than engaging Will or asking for tips, Carlton responded by calling Will a "queer" for spending quality time with The Cock. Carlton stormed off, confused by how difficult it was for him to stop thinking about Will pleasuring himself. Not only is Carlton not a Cocksman, he's also a self-loathing homosexual.
When engaging in Cock-Cocksman bonding, The Cocksman should avoid viewing pornography. When The Cocksman becomes absorbed in watching erotica, his focus is on the computer, not The Cock, which leaves both The Cock and The Cocksman wanting more from their relationship with each other. Admittedly, there are times of self-stimulation where a person may simply want to achieve orgasm and move on with the day, which is still encouraged, but that is not what this rule is concerned with. The Cocksman should recognize that it isn't necessary to even fantasize when embracing The Cock. The Cocksman may simply caress The Cock while attempting to leave his mind blank or stare in the mirror. The point is that the focus of The Cocksman needs to be on The Cock in order to maintain a balanced and pleasurable relationship.
Example A: Raymond awoke to find himself alone, as Debra had taken Michael and Geoffery to to their soccer game. Uninterested in removing himself from the bed, Raymond laid back, fondled The Cock while focusing on the ceiling until he was satisfied. Raymond congratulated himself on his maintaining a cherished connection with The Cock. Pat yourself on the back, Raymond, you've practiced good Cocksmanship!
Example B: Will began relaying the story of a particularly satisfying mastubatory session with Carlton. Rather than engaging Will or asking for tips, Carlton responded by calling Will a "queer" for spending quality time with The Cock. Carlton stormed off, confused by how difficult it was for him to stop thinking about Will pleasuring himself. Not only is Carlton not a Cocksman, he's also a self-loathing homosexual.
Wednesday, March 5, 2008
The Cocksman Shall Apprectiate Both the vagina and its holder, but be Intimidated by Neither
When The Cocksman sees a vagina he covets, he doesn't hesitate. It doesn't matter what the holder of the vagina looks like, if she appears to treat other men poorly or if rejection is nearly guaranteed, The Cocksman still pursues the unification of The Cock and the vagina. The Cocksman realizes that the needs of The Cock outweigh any potential minor setbacks.
While The Cocksman must not shy away from approaching the holder of the vagina, he also must present himself in a way that shows the holder of the vagina how much The Cocksman values the vagina. The Cocksman should not intentionally disrespect the vagina or its holder at anytime before or after intercourse. While friendly jesting is encouraged, violently accosting the holder of vagina with the use of demeaning terms or otherwise humiliating her is strictly prohibited.
Example A: As Niles made his way up to his brother's apartment, he met Lilith in the elevator on her way out. Being a gentlemen, Niles offered Lilith a ride back to her home on the outskirts of town. Lilith accepted. In a matter of minutes, after a series of simple routines, Niles accomplished insertion into Lilith's pale vagina. After completion of the act, Niles began driving Lilith back to her home. Still several miles away from Lilith's, Niles pulled over and asked her to make sure the gas tank was properly closed. Just as Lilith got out of the car to check, Niles yelled, "You stupid skank!" stomped on the gas pedal and left Lilith disgraced and alone. Has Niles practiced good Cocksmanship? Nay, I say, nay.
Example B: Milhouse sees Lisa riding her bike on Evergreen Terrace and is overcome with a desire to merge The Cock with the vagina. Although he's aroused by the thought of the pleasure he would gain by taking the place of Lisa's bicycle seat, he remains focused on his goal. Even though Lisa has rejected Milhouse numerous times, he is not dissuaded. After a brief interaction and a statement of his intentions, Lisa agrees to allow Milhouse to gain carnal knowledge of her in Bart's treehouse. Following copulation, Milhouse complies with Lisa's request to walk her to the front door and adds on a goodbye kiss to ensure Lisa won't regret her actions. Milhouse then steals Bart's skateboard and carts himself over to Sherri and Terri's to accomplish other Cocksmanlike goals. Milhouse lives and breathes Cocksmanship.
While The Cocksman must not shy away from approaching the holder of the vagina, he also must present himself in a way that shows the holder of the vagina how much The Cocksman values the vagina. The Cocksman should not intentionally disrespect the vagina or its holder at anytime before or after intercourse. While friendly jesting is encouraged, violently accosting the holder of vagina with the use of demeaning terms or otherwise humiliating her is strictly prohibited.
Example A: As Niles made his way up to his brother's apartment, he met Lilith in the elevator on her way out. Being a gentlemen, Niles offered Lilith a ride back to her home on the outskirts of town. Lilith accepted. In a matter of minutes, after a series of simple routines, Niles accomplished insertion into Lilith's pale vagina. After completion of the act, Niles began driving Lilith back to her home. Still several miles away from Lilith's, Niles pulled over and asked her to make sure the gas tank was properly closed. Just as Lilith got out of the car to check, Niles yelled, "You stupid skank!" stomped on the gas pedal and left Lilith disgraced and alone. Has Niles practiced good Cocksmanship? Nay, I say, nay.
Example B: Milhouse sees Lisa riding her bike on Evergreen Terrace and is overcome with a desire to merge The Cock with the vagina. Although he's aroused by the thought of the pleasure he would gain by taking the place of Lisa's bicycle seat, he remains focused on his goal. Even though Lisa has rejected Milhouse numerous times, he is not dissuaded. After a brief interaction and a statement of his intentions, Lisa agrees to allow Milhouse to gain carnal knowledge of her in Bart's treehouse. Following copulation, Milhouse complies with Lisa's request to walk her to the front door and adds on a goodbye kiss to ensure Lisa won't regret her actions. Milhouse then steals Bart's skateboard and carts himself over to Sherri and Terri's to accomplish other Cocksmanlike goals. Milhouse lives and breathes Cocksmanship.
Tuesday, March 4, 2008
The Cocksman Shall Appreciate Beauty in its Ugliest Forms
Millionaires are encouraged to donate portions of their wealth, celebrities are pestered to interact with the public and The Cocksman is pushed to engage in sexual philanthropy. There are times when The Cocksman finds himself alone on a Friday night. It may be a situation where there are simply no holders of the vagina that meet his standards or it may be after a brutal rejection. Often, in these instances, The Cocksman will find himself pursued by a lesser creature.
It in these circumstances where The Cocksman has an opportunity to satisfy the desires of The Cock as well as boost the self-esteem of an undesireable. Note that engaging in intercourse with an undesireable occasionally (no more than twice a year) is advocated, but not required. If The Cocksman chooses to pleasure the undesireable, he should be able to find some redeeming quality to point out to his allies. The redeeming quality can be anything from a pretty face to large breasts, but The Cocksman must be able to point to something that justifies his decision.
Example A: Roseanne and Dan had recently divorced and she was pretty depressed. Darlene decided to throw a party to cheer her up. Upon David's arrival, Darlene made it clear that she wouldn't be having sex with David anytime soon. David looked around, saw Becky was gone, and assumed he would be spending the night alone. David found himself sitting in a corner when Roseanne approached him. She needed love, badly, and she wanted David to give it to her. David reached over, felt her enormous breasts, and agreed to her one-night-stand proposition. David has displayed the heart of a true Cocksman.
Example B: Following David's encounter with Roseanne, D.J. begins mocking David and his decision to make love to a large woman. Even when David counters with the "large breasts" justification, D.J. refuses to stop telling people and making fun of David. It appears that D.J. will never grasp the meaning of Cocksmanship.
It in these circumstances where The Cocksman has an opportunity to satisfy the desires of The Cock as well as boost the self-esteem of an undesireable. Note that engaging in intercourse with an undesireable occasionally (no more than twice a year) is advocated, but not required. If The Cocksman chooses to pleasure the undesireable, he should be able to find some redeeming quality to point out to his allies. The redeeming quality can be anything from a pretty face to large breasts, but The Cocksman must be able to point to something that justifies his decision.
Example A: Roseanne and Dan had recently divorced and she was pretty depressed. Darlene decided to throw a party to cheer her up. Upon David's arrival, Darlene made it clear that she wouldn't be having sex with David anytime soon. David looked around, saw Becky was gone, and assumed he would be spending the night alone. David found himself sitting in a corner when Roseanne approached him. She needed love, badly, and she wanted David to give it to her. David reached over, felt her enormous breasts, and agreed to her one-night-stand proposition. David has displayed the heart of a true Cocksman.
Example B: Following David's encounter with Roseanne, D.J. begins mocking David and his decision to make love to a large woman. Even when David counters with the "large breasts" justification, D.J. refuses to stop telling people and making fun of David. It appears that D.J. will never grasp the meaning of Cocksmanship.
The Cocksman Shall Use The Cock for Good, not Evil
It is universally accepted that there are ways in which The Cock can be used for evil. The first of these is in a revenge scenario. There are times where The Cocksman will encounter a rival or nemesis and will desire to reek vengeance upon said person by having intercourse with the wife or girlfriend of said person. This is Uncocksmanlike behavior and should not be engaged in.
Another situation where The Cocksman may be tempted to use The Cock for evil is in a "hate-fuck" situation. This refers to a circumstance where The Cocksman finds a holder of the vagina physically attractive, but, otherwise, repulsive. The Cocksman may desire to stick The Cock in her mouth to shut her up or slam into the vagina until it bleeds, but, no matter how tempting, this should not be engaged in.
Example A: Judge Harry and Dan Fielding, as assistant district attorney, had ongoing arguments and genuinely disliked each other. Judge Harry and Christine Sullivan, the public defender, were highly attracted to each other, but couldn't engage in a sexual relationship for ethical reasons. Dan Fielding, knowing of their love for each other, decided to avenge his most recent loss at the hands of Judge Harry by seducing Christine in the elevator. Dan's only motivations for intercourse with Christine were based on hurting Harry. Dan succeeded in his goal and made sure that Harry found out about it. Dan has violated a basic rule of Cocksmanship.
Example B: Jack, Janet and Chrissy had been living together for several years. After such a long time, Chrissy's whining and complaining got on everybody's nerves, including Jack's. It got to the point where Jack was unable to be in the same room as Chrissy for fear that he would punch her in the throat. One night, Chrissy began coming onto Jack. Jack still felt that Chrissy was sexually attractive, but his only reason for engaging in intercourse with her was to shut her up. Jack turned down Chrissy and took a bottle of wine into Janet's room, where they consummated their relationship. This is what Cocksmanship is all about.
Another situation where The Cocksman may be tempted to use The Cock for evil is in a "hate-fuck" situation. This refers to a circumstance where The Cocksman finds a holder of the vagina physically attractive, but, otherwise, repulsive. The Cocksman may desire to stick The Cock in her mouth to shut her up or slam into the vagina until it bleeds, but, no matter how tempting, this should not be engaged in.
Example A: Judge Harry and Dan Fielding, as assistant district attorney, had ongoing arguments and genuinely disliked each other. Judge Harry and Christine Sullivan, the public defender, were highly attracted to each other, but couldn't engage in a sexual relationship for ethical reasons. Dan Fielding, knowing of their love for each other, decided to avenge his most recent loss at the hands of Judge Harry by seducing Christine in the elevator. Dan's only motivations for intercourse with Christine were based on hurting Harry. Dan succeeded in his goal and made sure that Harry found out about it. Dan has violated a basic rule of Cocksmanship.
Example B: Jack, Janet and Chrissy had been living together for several years. After such a long time, Chrissy's whining and complaining got on everybody's nerves, including Jack's. It got to the point where Jack was unable to be in the same room as Chrissy for fear that he would punch her in the throat. One night, Chrissy began coming onto Jack. Jack still felt that Chrissy was sexually attractive, but his only reason for engaging in intercourse with her was to shut her up. Jack turned down Chrissy and took a bottle of wine into Janet's room, where they consummated their relationship. This is what Cocksmanship is all about.
The Cocksman Shall Use The Cock for Gratification of All Parties
When The Cocksman enters into an intimate relationship with a holder of the vagina, The Cocksman's goal should not only be on satisfaction of The Cock's desires, but also those of the vagina.
This means that The Cocksman should engage in foreplay, manual stimulation of the vagina and work hard to achieve orgasm for the holder of the vagina. Though not required, oral stimulation of the vagina is encouraged.
The Cocksman should not simply turn over the holder of the vagina, insert his penis and relentlessly blast away until he achieves pleasure. The Cocksman should attempt to hold out as long as necessary to satisfy the holder of the vagina. The Cocksman should also attempt to conform to the requests of the holder of the vagina to make sure that The Cocksman is not thrusting too hard or too soft or minimizing the holder of the vagina's pleasure in any other way.
Example A: After dry streaks by both, Jerry and Elaine make the decision to engage in intercourse in a purely sexual relationship. Within seconds of jumping into bed, Jerry inserts his penis into Elaine's vagina and begins violently pounding away. Elaine quickly fakes an orgasm just as Jerry cums after seven pumps. Jerry lacks The Cocksman gene.
Example B: Sam and Diane both have to work late at the bar. After a couple of drinks, Sam invites Diane into his office, where he manages, through both manual and oral stimulation, to bring her to orgasm three times before she begins begging for The Cock. We should all applaud Sam's Good Cocksmanship.
This means that The Cocksman should engage in foreplay, manual stimulation of the vagina and work hard to achieve orgasm for the holder of the vagina. Though not required, oral stimulation of the vagina is encouraged.
The Cocksman should not simply turn over the holder of the vagina, insert his penis and relentlessly blast away until he achieves pleasure. The Cocksman should attempt to hold out as long as necessary to satisfy the holder of the vagina. The Cocksman should also attempt to conform to the requests of the holder of the vagina to make sure that The Cocksman is not thrusting too hard or too soft or minimizing the holder of the vagina's pleasure in any other way.
Example A: After dry streaks by both, Jerry and Elaine make the decision to engage in intercourse in a purely sexual relationship. Within seconds of jumping into bed, Jerry inserts his penis into Elaine's vagina and begins violently pounding away. Elaine quickly fakes an orgasm just as Jerry cums after seven pumps. Jerry lacks The Cocksman gene.
Example B: Sam and Diane both have to work late at the bar. After a couple of drinks, Sam invites Diane into his office, where he manages, through both manual and oral stimulation, to bring her to orgasm three times before she begins begging for The Cock. We should all applaud Sam's Good Cocksmanship.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
Posts
