Friday, May 30, 2008

The Cocksman shall facilitate the use of a fellow Cock

The Cocksman understands the importance of regular Cock usage, not only with respect to his own Cock, but also the Cocks of his allies. There are times when a Cocksman sacrifices his chances at entering a vagina in hopes of benefiting a fellow Cock. It must be noted that there is a major difference between failing to sabotage a fellow Cock and facilitating its use. Failure to sabotage just means not actively destroying chances of another Cock, while facilitation involves more of a conscious and active effort by The Cocksman to help his ally achieve insertion.

There are a basically two methods of facilitation that a Cocksman can use to promote the use of a fellow cock. First is the affirmative method. Essentially, the Cocksman will provide his ally with advice about what to do as well as doing things to make the ally look good, such as talking the ally up to the targeted holder of the vagina. The second method is more passive and known as the yielding method. When using the yielding method, The Cocksman just tries to get out of the way to allow his ally to work by doing things like leaving the ally and the holder of the vagina alone and neglecting to interact with either. Both methods are well respected in all legitimate Cocksmanship circles.

Example A: Cory had been interested in Topanga since they had been lab partners in Mr. Feeney's sixth grade class. Cory's best friend, Shawn, was well known as the Cocksman of the school and was always there for Cory. Shawn, after watching Cory embarrass himself on repeated occasions, decided to take control. Topanga came over for one of Eric's parties, where Shawn counseled Cory on what to say, isolated Topanga and told her of some of Cory's wonderful qualities (affirmative). Eventually, Shawn suggested that he, Cory and Topanga check out Cory's pet hamster in his room. When they were all safely inside, Shawn excused himself to the bathroom, never to return (yielding). In a matter of minutes, Cory had his hands on Topanga's wonderfully developed boobies, all thanks to Shawn. Cory's lucky to have a Cocksman like Shawn for a friend.

Example B: SpongeBob, Patrick and Sandy were all hanging out at SpongeBob's pineapple watching "The Adventures of Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy" when it became clear that SpongeBob was making a move on Sandy. Patrick noticed that SpongeBob kept inching closer to Sandy on the couch and repeatedly touching her leg and realized he was finally doing what he had talked about for so long. However, Patrick loved this particular episode of "Mermaid Man" and refused to excuse himself even after SpongeBob pleaded for him to while Sandy was in the bathroom. Patrick, if I was your father, I would disown you for your egregious failure to practice the most basic, simple rules of Cocksmanship.

The Cocksman shall not blame the holder of the vagina for his failure to satisfy the demands of The Cock

Referring to a holder of the vagina by derogatory terms such as "rug-muncher" or "whore" simply because she isn't interested in forming an intercoursal relationship is a sure indicator that the pursuer/defamer is not a Cocksmanlike move. The Cocksman knows that when he fails to gain insertion into the vaginal chamber, the holder of the vagina is not the one to be blamed. Rather than making excuses or attacking his rejectors, The Cocksman takes responsibility for his shortcomings.

When The Cocksman is unsuccessful, it only motivates him to improve himself in preparation for his next attempt at vagina. The Cocksman realizes that not all approaches will be victorious and uses those otherwise disappointing experiences to improve himself. The Cocksman realizes that the fact that a holder of the vagina wasn't interested in experiencing The Cock is not an indicator of her negative value as a person.

Example A: Alf had been after Lynn ever since he moved in with the Tanners. Over the course of several weeks, Alf continually upped his flirting, starting with light touches on the arm to lingering paws on her ass. When he finally tricked her into coming into the attic and she rejected his advances, he went into a tirade referring to her a "cocktease" and " a dumb bitch." Not only has Alf ruined a good relationship, he's established that he's not a Cocksman.

Example B: After a brief makeout session with Maybe, George Michael decided it was time to finally close the deal. He was sick of Anne and needed a change in his life. Maybe had always been the kind of girl who admired a bold man, so George Michael came up with a plan. When she showed up for work at the banana stand, he was standing inside, pantsless, fully erect and awaiting her touch. Unfortunately, she was still interested in Steve and refused to fondle George Michael. Disappointed, but still a Cocksman, George Michael accepted her decision, put on his pants, continued to interact with Maybe while devising another strategy to get her, or at least someone hotter than Anne, into his bunk bed.

Tuesday, May 27, 2008

The Cocksman Shall Not Sabotage the Use of a Fellow Cock

This doesn't mean that The Cocksman won't interfere in any male to holder of the vagina interaction, it just simply means he won't do so for the purpose of destroying the other male's chances. The Cocksman wants to see success in satisfying the cravings of The Cock, not only with his personal Cock, but with those of his brethren as well. While, at times, it may be tempting for The Cocksman to stroke his own ego by showing that, if he wanted the holder of the vagina, he could have her, but The Cocksman must resist that urge.

If The Cocksman legitimately believes he can ascertain the vagina and desires to have it, then he should, by all means, intervene. The Cocksman must analyze his purpose in making the approach and if it's fueled primarily by the urge to seduce the holder of the vagina rather than the the longing to show up her current pursuer, then he shouldn't be wary of upsetting another male (Cocksman or not). In fact, holding back and not interacting with the holder of the vagina in that type of situation may even be considered unCocksmanly.

Example A: Fred and Barney were seniors at Bedrock High and both noticed the new girl, Betty, immediately. She had the finest tits either had ever laid eyes on and an ass to match. After a few seconds of shock, Barney introduced himself and began laying on the charm. Fred, who had been married to Wilma since Freshman year, couldn't stand the thought of his loser friend banging a hotter chick than him, so he promptly interrupted their conversation with lies and embarrassing stories about Barney. Even though Barney's efforts were ultimately successful, Fred's lack of Cocksmanship is just plain embarrassing.

Example B: Once Mike's parents left town, he decided he needed to throw a kickass party. After convincing Ben to go to a friend's house and agreeing to allow Carol to invite her friends over, it was on. Once the party began, it became clear that Julie, the girl Mike had hoped to hook up with, wasn't into him, but that wasn't going to stop him from trying. Boner had wanted to bang Julie for a while and noticed her making eyes at him, so he made his move. It wasn't long before Boner took her up to Jason and Maggie's room and lived up to his nickname. Played like a true Cocksman, Boner. Good work!

The Cocksman Shall Not Call "Dibs"

The Cocksman embraces competition for vagina. More accurately, he thrives on it. The Cocksman recognizes that the battle for the vagina will improve his ability to attract, force him to rise to the challenge and bring him closer to those embarking on the same quest as he. By calling "dibs," the pursuer has essentially admitted to being the less Cocksmanly and unable to compete with any of his allies. Not only is this a depressing admission, it's also an extremely selfish move, putting his non-Cocksmanly self pleasures (that he likely won't attain anyways) above his allies.

The Cocksman knows that, in a competition for vagina, the most Cocksmanly of the bunch usually wins and The Cocksman gladly accepts that. In fact, The Cocksman embraces it because, as a true Cocksman, it means he's going to be able to attain the vagina the vast majority of the time. The Cocksman isn't selfish, doesn't shy away from competition and is always looking to improve his Cocksmanship, thus, he doesn't call "dibs."

Example A: Leo, Raf and Donatello were hanging out in the Sewer watching some TV while Michaelangelo focused on scarfing down pizza in the next room. Eventually, the news came on and the gang got their first look at the sexy, sophisticated April O'Neil. Just as they were recovering from the shock of her beauty, Raf screamed out "Dibs!" even though it was clear they were all interested. After getting to know all of them, April snubbed Raf and repeatedly asked Leo to show her his sword. Unfortunately, Leo respected Raf's call and sacrificed his own pleasure to maintain the friendship. Raf, fuck you and your unCocksmanly ways!

Example B: Ponch and Jon walked into the station to find a gorgeous new dispatcher working the front desk. Without a word, both knew what the other was thinking about ways to make an entrance into that vagina. They smiled at each other when Jon whispered, "it's on." After putting on his tightest pair of pants and showing off a few motorcycle moves, Ponch took her into the evidence room and closed the deal. When he ran into Jon a few hours later, a high five was exchanged and tips were traded. The competition not only made them both better Cocksmen, but also better friends.